“Nobody knows but me,” “God did!” Looking Back Helps Me Move Forward and See How Far I Have Come Within Recovery and Healing Journey. . .

I want to begin and share a “Thank You” to my friend Catherine for setting up my last post while I was in the hospital. I was finally released on Thursday after nine days in the Ronal Regan UCLA Medical hospital. I also want to thank her and her husband, Tom, for setting up this Medical & Treatment Fund For Lang Martinez
https://gofund.me/b30e26dd to help pay for my medical expenses and ongoing doctor appointments, treatments, and care. I don’t know what I’d do without true friends.

My Buddy & Sponsor, Ruben Chavez
Tom and Catherine Lyon, My Friends

I am very blessed to have caring and supportive friends in my life.
I am staying with another dear friend, my recovery sponsor, Rubin Chavez, who is helping me stay out of trouble (lol), helping as I can not drive now, and making sure I do what my doctors have told me to do, and much more.

If you visit the GoFundMe link above, Catherine has just added a new update of all medically I have ahead of me. I was diagnosed with “Bechet’s Disease.” I also want to thank those who have donated. We have a ways to go to meet our goal. I know God will make it happen. He hasn’t let me down yet. God, that is! So, now about this new post. I firmly believe that when we visit where we have come from before and within recovery, we can see the growth and the transformation from all the hard work I have put into my recovery journey.

That is some of what this post is about. And it had been featured in the Citizen’s Journal newspaper out of the Ventura, CA area. I hope this article will help someone if they are sitting on the fence looking to gain recovery from any addiction or if they are living on the streets. . . ~Lang Martinez

My friend Marcus Marshall and I!

“Nobody knows but me,” “God did”- My story about being homeless on the streets of Oxnard

Like a clown, I put on a show. The pain is all too real, and “nobody knows,” I’m dying inside. “Nobody knows but me.” 

My name is Lang Martinez, and I am a (recovering) alcoholic and addict, but most definitely a contender for anything else in regard to addiction. I don’t want to spend time writing about my drunk log – we all have our stories. So let me tell you just enough so I can qualify that I am just like you… 

I have been with my disease since I was 16 years old. I have 4 Prison numbers and have been homeless for too many years to count. I have had sobriety three times in five years. I have also worked in recovery in Los Angeles County.

I want you to know that having sobriety 5 years, three times in my case, was definitely not a good thing for those who loved me. By having five years three times, I destroyed my family’s lives. Three times, they came back into my life and wanted to believe that I would never return to that life and hurt them again. They trusted me, and I let them down.

Most of my family are dead, so I can’t tell them that I’m sorry. With my ex-wife and son, I was able to do my 9th step. When I was able to do my 9th step with my son, I had to listen to him for 2 hours telling me all the horrific things that I did to him and his mother. Some of the things that he told me I did, I couldn’t believe. I don’t remember those things because of my addiction. I cried the whole time on the phone.

When I said, “son, I’m sorry,” he replied, “I’m not your son, and don’t call me that because I’m not your son. I believed in you, Lang, 3 times, and just when I thought you would be my father, you destroyed my mom’s & my life.” Right before the conversation ended, his wife, whom I do not know, got on the phone and told me I had two grandchildren I would never know. I would never ever even know their names. After that, she hung up the phone. This is what happens after five years three times. This is my wreckage from the past.

Now, I want to tell you about my last relapse and why that was my last time, not returning to that life. I was homeless in Oxnard and then in Los Angeles. I was dying; I was so bad in my addiction that I suffered from a flesh-eating disease on my right leg. Every day, it’s a reminder as I’m able to look down at the scars on my legs that will never heal. My kidney was trying to fail, and was hospitalized. I had a catheter for over a month so that I could urinate, and they didn’t know if my kidneys would ever function again. This happened to me in Ventura County. It reads as precisely what had just happened to me today, except I finally have a proper diagnosis of “Bechet’s Disease.”

In Los Angeles, I was having seizures and foaming from the mouth. I knew that death was right around the corner. I know from experience that most would welcome death because anything would be better than living a life like this. I chose not to die like this. I wanted to die differently. I always wanted one person to say something good about me if I did die. So, one more time, I cried out to God and changed the promise I had made to him three different times before.

I said, “God, I’m begging you don’t let me die like this, and this time God, if you save my life, I promise you I will give it all back to you, please”!

Advocate Lang Patrick Martinez

Now I want to share with you the miracles my Lord and Savior has done for me within my first 11 months of sobriety. My sobriety date is July 25th, 2018, and I just celebrated my 4th year maintaining my sobriety. I needed rehab to get back the foundation I had lost. I went to Acton for two months. After Acton, I went back to Ventura County. Immediately, I kept my promise to ‘God for saving my life. I became God’s advocate for the homeless in Ventura County. I am a voice for those who don’t have one. 

I was only three months sober when I began speaking to the city of Oxnard officials on behalf of the homeless. Back then, I had applied to be a commissioner to be their advocate in the city of Oxnard. As a homeless specialist, I am also on the care team at Mission Church in Ventura. Every day I work on keeping my promise.

County officials today asked me for my advice regarding the homeless situation in Ventura County. A City Official of Oxnard invited me to participate in a documentary and speak on a panel on May 9th, 2018, called “Humanizing the Homeless in Oxnard,” which can be seen on YouTube. I have written many articles for the Ventura County newspapers that you can read online at Citizen’s Journal https://www.citizensjournal.us/?s=Articles+by+Lang+Martinez and “Keys to Recovery newspaper. Most of the articles are called “Nobody Knows But Me.” 

When I had six months of sobriety, I was approached by a Christian publishing company called TULA (Thank You Lord Always), which wanted to write a book about me and all the lord has done in my life. I’m sure you already know the title. I also had been asked to have a documentary of my life. Those are all blessed opportunities, but I still have much work on my recovery, and my journey is ongoing and ever-evolving. Besides, GOD has been sharing many life lessons and telling Lang, “it’s no longer “ABOUT LANG.” 

My Lord and Savior definitely looks out for ‘Lang Martinez.’  

He has forgiven me. Today I’m no longer that man I was. Instead, I give all praise to God for you, his love, grace, and mercy over me, and his forgiveness. I want to thank all of you for believing in me and loving me when sometimes I’m incapable of loving myself. Thanks to the ‘Keys To Recovery’ newspaper.  http://www.keystorecoverynewspaper.com/ not just for my articles but for my continuous support daily.  

     “I love you, Marcus & Jeannie!”

So here I am today, just released from UCLA Medical after nine days and staying with Rubin, my sponsor. I know there are some who may think I got what was coming to me. First? I wouldn’t wish Bechet’s disease on my worst enemy.

Well, I’d tell them what my sponsor tells people about me…


Donations can be made to help my medical and treatments for “Bechet’s Disease” and expenses >>> https://gofund.me/b30e26dd … May God Bless you!

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My name is Lang, and I am a male adult survivor of adolescent trauma, rape, and abuse. This is my story, my journey of healing, helping others, and sharing HOPE.

4 thoughts on ““Nobody knows but me,” “God did!” Looking Back Helps Me Move Forward and See How Far I Have Come Within Recovery and Healing Journey. . .”

  1. Reblogged this on Bet Free Recovery Now Shares Hope, Recovery From Gambling Addiction, News & Resources. and commented:
    Hello Recovery Posse and New Friends.
    My dear friend and fellow advocate, Lang Martinez, has a new post that I wanted to help share with everyone. He has had a rough few weeks and was just released from UCLA medical center.

    I started a Go Fund Me to help him with the ongoing medical expenses, treatments, and medications he will need as he was diagnosed with a rare, incurable syndrome called “Bechet’s Disease.” Lang has a long road to recovery, loss of vision in one eye, and learning to manage this disease. I hope you will help Cat help Lang by contributing and supporting him. It would mean so much to me. Thanks, friends!

    Liked by 1 person

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